Out With the Old, In With the New

Yesh. That's all I have to say about the previous posts which I have made. My faults and imperfections are like a blaring siren, evident to all who read. It's almost shameful, but it is also interesting to see the progression of my life. I do put a disclaimer; if I said something really stupid, that was a far more immature version of myself.

A lot of things have changed. I am glad to say that I have conquered Calculus, Physics, and Astrophysics. I am even learning Biblical Hebrew. This past semester I made the Dean's list for the first time, so you know that's exciting. My GPA has been on the rise for 3 semesters, increasing by 22%.

One of the greatest lessons I learned was sometimes the best course of action is the take a step back and catch your breath. While I didn't get a full deep breath in my break for science and mathematics (I took a 1 semester break to get my bearings), it was enough to get me what I needed. 

My greatest issue was that I was coming back to the science and math classes with the same baggage every time. My perceptions on how to solve calculus or astrophysics were incorrect, and each time I took the glass my viewpoint became even more skewed. By taking a break and forgetting as much as I could, I came with a fresh outlook and new perspective. 

During my sabbatical I focused on my faith. While I have always been a Christian my knowledge of the Bible was sub-par at best. I knew the theology of the New Covenant and was well versed in Romans, Galatians, Ephesians, and spots of Hebrews, and a handful of classic stories (like Abraham). Other than these books my knowledge was based on the watered down Sunday school versions of the stories. 

In late January and early February I was in one of the darkest chapters of my life. My personal life was in pieces as the girl that I was so greatly in love with seemed to have abandoned me, and I was debating dropping out of college. Both dreams I had for my future were wasting away before my very eyes, I was in agony. I felt as if the 21 years I have lived, and the countless hours put in to school were swiftly adding up to nothing.

During this time I felt as if the Lord began to speak to me through dreams. I had dreams of things to come, and things that were. They weren't in the distant future, nor were they massively revealing to what I was supposed to do with my life (which I still am unsure). They did however, point me in the right direction and helped me make some plans and preparations, which all came to pass. 

I felt a stir in my heart, a calling that was undeniably him. The Bible to this point was boring to me, and I was always afraid of the Old Testament. I was never taught to read it except for the stories mentioned in the "Grace" sermons. It is often cited by Christian opponents to show how evil and wicked God was, to show no creator could exist. I was always fearful that by reading it, I would turn from my faith and become corrupt. I feared that I would despise God, and harden my heart towards him.

The call in my heart was far to strong for me to turn down, and thus I started reading My plan was to read the Old Testament from beginning to end by the arrival of summer (which I definitely did not do, but I tried). My fears of hating the Lord were so greatly misplaced, the more I read the closer to God I became. This is only logical, the bible is the story of man and God and by reading it you are learning about God. It's like if you have a friend, you only get to know them if you spend time with them, the same goes for God. 

While reading the Bible and spending time with the Lord was helpful it wasn't this instant fix. I didn't leave my pit of depression, and there were many nights I shouted and cried out to the Lord in anger, but I kept in pursuit. I realized during this time of sorrow that love is a choice. The emotion of love that we feel is fleeting, it is not absolute. We grow angry, tired, complacent. As soon as the warm fuzzy emotions are gone we decide it's time to pack up camp and leave. Why is the divorce rate so high? Because society thinks love is merely a feeling. The second that a bump in the road is encountered, people abandon ship. Love is making the choice to serve the other person no matter what, it's sacrificing your emotions and feelings to benefit the other person. (Clearly there are times this is not okay, but I'm not talking about that right now). Love is acting selflessly to the one's in your life despite your emotional state. We can choose to love, or we can hing upon the ever fleeting emotion. 

 Despite the anger and the despair of the abandonment of the one I held dear, I pursued the Lord. I chose to love him, and in doing so I can feel his presence far more. I am more tuned to his calling. I can feel peace and joy when I seek him, and no longer feel as if it is a battle to do so.

 In the fall I ended up taking a course about the Old Testament, as well as Biblical Hebrew. Biblical Hebrew was time consuming enough, but I took it at the same time as one of the most difficult astrophysics courses offered. To my surprise I was able to end with excellent grades in both.

Things aren't perfect, I am still getting over the issues of earlier this year, and I still am easily stressed. But I am far better off than I have been since I began my quest of college, and I credit the Lord for my strength and perseverance.


And yes, you can love astrophysics and God.

Calculus and Physics

I saw a turtle today.

Status Report

Life is always a journey. It's a meandering path taking us from one segment to the next, sometimes abruptly.

Before the start of this semester I felt hopefully, the last one had not been perfect, but it was a significant improvement from previous years. On top of that I found a new best friend who is entirely similar and yet entirely different. I became a leader, and began to feel as if my life had a purpose again. I was able to spend my time with my new found best friend(s), and my best friends of old. Both being excellent times.

The semester started and for the first three weeks things were going great. My grades were high, the homework was easy. But that was the end of it. My grades began to slip, and personal situations arose like grass in spring. And not problems like a regular drama, I mean real legitimate problems.

That's when it hit, the depression reared it's ugly head. I was taught as a child that falling to depression was weakness. In fact during my childhood years when I slipped into depression my parents would tell me "toughen up" or things of the sort. Well luckily I don't have to worry about that anymore. After they got divorced (officially last month) they started worrying more about bad mouthing each other, than caring about their children, so I have that going for me.

But here I am trying to be happy. It's spring break, so I'm going to try to do things to improve my livelihood, but we'll see. Tomorrow I schedule a morning hike up a mountain so I'm looking forward to it. But I can't shake this crippling depression.  I am failing everything I thought I was supposed to excel at, and on top of that certain situation have arose that have put me above any stress I have felt in my life.

So basically this was a status check, and unfortunately I have fallen into another bout of depression. Hopefully I can dig out soon. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life if I fail  this semester.

This is more for me than you.
Though if you're suffering from depression know you're not alone.

A Chilling Case of Calculated Corruption

A Chilling Case of Calculated Corruption

A stead of stream of whistleblowers have been surfacing all around the globe in various governments. One such even has just transpired in a country few would expect. Documents have been leaked from the Canadian government that detail a disturbing plan to overthrow the United States, in a land grab for the entire North American continent.

The Centre Block of the Canadian parliament buildings on Parliament Hill
Credit: Steven W. Dengler

The details emerged from a source who wished to remain anonymous, but who has connections to high level intelligence within the Canadian Government. Details of the plan have been released to the public, which only means it’s a matter of time before government react.

The documents state that Canada is rolling out a plan to hopefully conquer the United States by 2067, it also states in the text that it wishes to control Mexico by 2073.

The document also states: “The desire to claim the entire North American Continent is one written in the core of the Canadian people. In order for this to be accomplished, war must be brutal and swift, to allow for the least amount of land to be destroyed in both countries.”

It goes on further to state: “By collecting snow and ice from the annual precipitation that frequents our region (due to the inclination of the earth), and by collecting ice from the glaciers, we will essentially create a giant ball of ice. This will be sent to the sun, once sufficient ice is collected in order to drop the temperature of the sun, and by cause and effect, lowering the overall output of energy from Sol. Our hopes is that this dip in temperature will coincide with the already low solar maximum that has occurred since the turn of the century.”

The document goes into more technical descriptions, but can be summed up on stating that Canada plans on “freezing out” the United States before invading.  It is eluded to in the text as a “...reverse Russian invasion” referencing the failure of both the German Invasion of Russia, and Napoleon's invasion of Russia.

With recent “Artic blasts” striking the United States, the concept of being “frozen out” of the country seems more and more likely. A recent poll taken by The International Correlation Organization (Western Division) showed that 29% of Americans in the Northern Tier of the country stated if temperatures of that magnitude were a daily occurrence, they would move further south.

Professor Moriarty of ICO stated “...29% is not a lot, but in time the 29 could snowball into 45 or even 50 percent by 2028. The dramatic decrease in people in the north will result in decreased temperatures, since the more people, the more active the city. And it is scientifically proven, and observed temperatures are higher in cities, thus a decrease in this, could result in even greater temperature drops in the North.”

As details continue to emerge, the story will be updated below.

Updated Story 2/7/14 11:03am

The United States Government, in a rare act of bipartisanship and potentially unlawful speed met and passed a bill through congress, to reach the president later today. The bill details plans to expand oil drilling in places such as the state of Pennsylvania which holds an estimated 50 trillion cubic feet of oil. 75% of the oil will be sent to the consumer market, while the other 25% will be used to help remove the local infestation of flora and fauna around the drilling sites. The hope is that the burning of this oil will stop the reverse of global cooling brought upon by the Canadian government, by releasing greenhouse gases into the air. If this proves to be ineffective, there is a clause that would allow for the injection of TNT into the oil layer, allowing for a massive explosion that would surely lead to a warmer climate.

The bill also entails that if their plans fail, and no progress is made by 2065, the United States will prematurely coax Yellowstone into an eruption, so that the Canadians can not have the mid-west due to it’s obliteration, as well as the hope to freeze out the Canadians of America, just so noone can have it.

Currently the military has also been placed at the US-Canada Border in an act of force to pressure the Canadians to stand down and give up their ice rockets which they have been hiding near the north pole. One can only hope a deal can be struck before these two powers go to war, but if these “Arctic Blasts” are any indication of what is to come, there is little hope for compromise.

A Cat Fell onto Railroad tracks, You'll Never Guess What Happened Next...

       The date was August 13, 2013. The air was cool yet durable. A slight dew covered the grass around the local train station in Blandville, Idaho. Patrons were lined by the dozens near the local station, awaiting the arrival of the next train. It was an already considered a special since it is one of only 250 towns to still use trains as a large source of personal transport (with the encroachment of subways and the dramatic rise of vehicles in the late 20th century many train stations had closed down).


       The people sat silently as the ground began to shake and a faint whistle could be heard. The Train had just peered over the horizon when the folks of Blandville realized a Cat by the name of Fellow, was running down the tracks (in the opposite direction from the train).



 Fellow was a local hero of the town, after getting lost 3 years in the wilderness, but returning to his loving owners surprisingly unscathed. The news stayed mostly local, but she became an icon for the town in a very short time.She was a calico cat, and piercing green eyes. Fellow unlike most cats was a very vocal cat, capable of releasing a loud meow when choosing to.

Fellow, the Cat

A meow was exactly what alerted the men and women near the station of Fellow's location along the tracks. Instantaneously a group rushed towards Fellow to remove him from the track as the train was now becoming incredibly close.





    What happened next was surprising. The people cried out to Fellow, catching his attention. The cat stopped, and looked at the people she had come to know and love. They were still a distance from him, but it was clear the cat recognized them. One pointed behind him, shouting to Fellow about the oncoming train. To the people's surprise Fellow looked back, as if she had fully understood what was happening.

Many of the witnesses were quoted as saying "It really seemed like Fellow understood English far better than we had realized."

As the people approached, so did the train. With one amazing push of strength, Fellow Relieved himself of his bowels before the train turned him into a sheet of animal paper. So what happened? Fellow passed away.
What did you think was going to happen? It's a cat on a railroad track. (These events are not representative of any know actually event, any similarity is entirely coincidental). So the moral of the story?
-Stop clicking on articles with titles like these. It's a trap and you're only encouraging the media to pull you in and make you read countless amounts of useless information for about an ounce of knowledge.
You keep feeding the machine, and you know what will happen? This:

Man Walks Into a Bar, You'll Never Believe What Happened Next...

Cue Useless Fluff, and pictures to antagonize your emotions...
More Useless words
I once saw a moose assault a llama, not really but it was weird because I saw a tree that I thought was a bear so I went to give it a hug and it turned into a water buffalo. I don't know what that is but I'm sure google can tell me all about the Alpaca shortage in Antarctica. Oh right you came here to read something that had to do with the title...
He received a concussion, and lost 4 years worth of memories.
Though I understand the want to grapple viewers in with titles that give no information away, but now I'm seeing it in more important news. You can't continuously hook people and drag them in, nor fall for the bait. Journalism is already a dying practice (true journalism i.e. unbiased writers), I don't want to lose helpful news titles either. And don't you worry I'll have a serious post eventually

The End of a Semester

As the Weather Channel so aptly put "Read it and Weep"

When asked how my day went today I would probably answer it went as well as a bird who see a worm only to find out it's a reflection of its beak as it contacts your window. So not a bad day, it started slow, had a moment of excitement (and I thank you guys for that too) but here we are... dead on the ground.

Whoa? how'd we get there from such a deep post last time? Because this blog is like the ocean. You've got shallow and you've got deep. Whales end up in both, but only one is suitable for it. If you're thinking it's the deep you're wrong. Giant Squids.

Today marked the last day of the semester for college so that was something. But then again so is a dead bird. It's something, it's just not a nice something. But on the topic of something, how can someone eat blue cheese and still have the confidence to get out of bed? It's the equivalent to thinking biscuits and wheat thins are the same thing, or rocks and rice crispies. (Product placement).

You could tell by the vacant stares of my fellow survivors that we're far from over. No the party is just starting. Finals. We felt accomplished because today felt like we were slightly freed, but in reality finals are waiting in the alley we just passed holding a hammer to give us one of the most uncomfortable doses of beatings we could ever expect.

You know what the problem with old books tends to be? Dust. Dust comes at you like a window to a birds face (I will not let this go), and you know what? I'm allergic to dust. Oh and library books.

Library books are the bane of my existence. It's not that I detest books it's just I value my health... or I just coddle my immune system. Because in every single library book you find left overs of the person that had it before you. If you've ever checked one out, you must surly know what I mean. I assumed the previous owner did something like this:

             Shadows danced upon the walls of the dark room as Steve's eyes rested upon the red sleeve of the book. Light reflected from the protective plastic sheath guarding the outer edges of the mighty adventure that awaited him.
             His fingers caressed the delicate white pages until his forefinger met the shedding piece of cloth which marked the place he had ceased previous. Like the seas in the days of Mosses, the pages parted revealing a small printed number around one inch by one inch from the lower right corner, the number read 54. His eyes flickered with excitement as they gently flowed through the lines of text as if it was silk sliding through his fingers, until finally reaching the text which he had left forty-two hours ago. His mind jolted as it came to life evoking the text on the page beneath into images, and worlds within Steve's head.
          "To judge the morality of ones actions, one can not for him self decide for a mind is biased to it's creator" this line echoed within the mind of Steve as he continued on "The world around him lay in but ash and dust, each rising to the sun mocking it's failure to protect those beneath it. Echoes of silence filled his mind, as he heard the screams of all the fallen he could not save."
           Steve's eyes drifted upward as he imagined the sorrow of the fallen man. The page quivered as his hand raised to his face. A sensation ran to his ear as his index finger glided like a jet into his nasal passage. Like the canals of old, his finger the vessel, his nose the calm waters, he was at peace. The soft grip of mucus clung to the ridges of his slick wrapped phalanx. The ecstasy overwhelmed his mind, as the elasticity of the mucus was tested. Like a feather falling to the ground, his finger slipped from the cavern it had been within the path  it continued on, before returning to the page bellow, forever leaving behind a stain of green and red, like the man broken on the page bellow. 






Yes. That. STOP DOING THAT. Can you not go 10 seconds without excavating your nasty human air filters? It's not like they are that efficient anyways...







But I digress. College finals, things. So here I go having another semester under my belt, think of the pride I feel, I made it. Considering less than five months ago I was undergoing a massive identity and personal crisis, and almost left college all together, I am pretty glad I stuck with it. I guess if your dreams are important enough holding on to them is the only thing that matters. Because the paths taken until we reach our dream lives don't always take the easy way. Sometimes the path is twisted, long and scary at times but perusing it, gives you a better chance of making it through. And plus, even if you don't reach your dream, at least you tried. You had honor, and that's what counts. Do you think that bird quit at it's dreams? No, because it probably didn't have any because it's a bird. And now it's dead.

So to answer the question on your minds:
If you're wondering if a bird actually died against my window today, don't worry. It may have. I'm not going to confirm or deny that a bird hit my window because it just as likely may have, or may not have. BUT I can tell you this: sometimes it's better to think with your stomach than with your mind. I want food.


Bathrooms

At this point I'd advise you to stop, I've lost control of what I'm thinking. As time marches swiftly forward towards the pre-dawn light I find myself in a state of I don't care.

The greatest question in the Universe is this: Who in the heck thought it would be a good idea to make bathrooms acoustic?

I mean let's face it, everyone has to eventually brave the cold embrace (or warm if you'r unlucky) of the Public Restroom (the very words make my tremble with fear). That alone is one of the most horrible experiences of my life. So there you are minding your own business when suddenly the guy three stalls down sounds like he's the big bad wolf huffing and puffing and trying to blow the little pigs  house down, and judging by the horrific grunting he's making, he's having about as much luck as the big bad wolf did on the brick house. But hey, who am I to judge, maybe his diet consists of only nails and lead, and that's why he sounds like a dinosaur about to give birth.

Then on the opposite side in the corner across from you, you've got the rocket ship guy. I swear if NASA contacted him, they wouldn't need to spend all that money on proportion, because from what I can tell he's probably flying a couple of feet off the seat every second.

But really everybody just tries to be quiet. Why? I don't know, it's not like only some of us go to the bathroom, why do we have to treat it like such a shameful thing?
It turns what could be an efficient I'm in, I did what my body naturally does with things I don't need, into an awkward contest of who can be more quiet in a game of firecrackers.

Instead of people being in the bathroom for 3-5 minutes, they end up lasting for 20 as they attempt to draw out the combustion over a longer time, while only resulting in them having to muffle their heavy breathing. You can literally tell when they are covering their mouths with their hands to make their breathing more quietly, it makes a very distinct noise. And as much as I don't want to know how much toilet paper you're using, stop slowing pulling it out of the contraption. It makes a weird hollow echo that sounds the the distance beat of war drums, and that's the last thing I need to worry about in there.

I'm sorry, but if I have to go through the experience of using a public restroom I don't want to have to pretend I don't go to the bathroom, in the bathroom. I mean what else are bathrooms for? (MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER). Instead of being efficient places, they slow us down. And make us feel shame. Well guess what, everybody does the poo. (If I ever get a girlfriend this will be embarrassing).


And just as quickly as the bird saw the worm, it died. Farewell until next time.

And Yes, I did talk about doodoo

Christianity and Science

Where science thrives, so does Christian bashing, or so it seems to be for me in the United States. I can't say I entirely blame the scientists, just go onto any forum about evolution or the big bang and you'll find a christian tripping over themselves in an attempt to prove that they are right, where there statements are often fragmented, not well thought out, and here's the kicker: most of their stances aren't even in the bible, which they claim to know better then the back of their hand. The conversations always divulge to fire and brimstone where the man of science spills out theories as if they are fact, and the "bible thumper" tells the scientist that they are going to Hell. It's a lose-lose situation.

These Christians may feel that they have accomplished something by sending their foes into a blind rage wondering how the other can even breathe, but at what cost? The Catholic church has done it's fair share of damage to the world of science, and if it wasn't for them, we'd probably be more technically advanced. Do I hate them? No, I just find their arrogance to be disgusting. Baptists, Lutherans and all the other denominations are also to blame, all have played a part. The cost of these people who prowl the world via internet, campus or wherever result in the scientific community generally looking down upon those who call themselves Christians.

It is very angering to me because the two don't have to war like they have for centuries. Each has a shared guilt in this moronic conquest to prove the superiority of the other.

Why....

To The Church

Let me start with the church, you speak evils and hate on such an intense level I wonder if you have ever opened a bible yourself. Sadly most people of faith blindly follow the words of their pastor/priest without checking to see if what they are saying makes sense, we are taught to be Christ like, not pastor like.

 Without knowing the bible on a personal level how can one truly call themselves well versed in god? I'm not saying you have to be experts in the bible, but realize the gravity of your actions when claiming what you believe is in the bible, because often it is not.
What do I mean? When quoting a verse a few things must be taken into mind: you must understand the context of the time, you MUST understand the context of the verse, those one hit wonder verses typically have nothing to do with what you speak, and finally know who is being addressed in the book. Without those key points your quotes are pointless, because you are human and lack the authority to put words in gods mouth. If you know beyond a doubt that your verse is applicable in both the situation and in context(s) then by all means use it.

Next, realize the bible is about faith and spirituality, and is a guide for how to live, as well as many other things. But you know what it isn't? The bible isn't a scientific road map as many of you seem to think. In the bible I notice they do not mention subatomic particles, or panda bears. Does this mean they can not exist? No, of course not, it just did not find that mention such objects was important. Did the bible state that some animals are capable of altering their abilities to survive in otherwise unsurvivable habitats (like invasive species for example)? No, because again it was not important.
Why was it not important? Because believing in intelligent design by god through evolution, or believing that the Universe originated in a single point, or anything along those lines do not have to do with your righteousness (right standing with god). I am no biblical expert, but I know this to be true, how?

Ephesians 2:8-9 -"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast."

Romans 3:28 - "For we hold that one is justified by faith apart from works of the law."

Galatians 2:16 "Yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified." 

I'm going to stop there but there is plenty more stating the exact same thing. It does not say that you are saved though belief in Jesus Christ and belief in scientific principals told by the church, no just saved through Faith by Grace, no science is involved in the salvation aspect, therefore I see no reason why a book meant to help guide and redeem you would need to include such matters at such a precise level.

Also does it not say:

Romans 12:18 - "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

So please stop picking your battles in at attempt to do who knows what because in the end all you are accomplishing is widening the schism between science and Christianity.

Did Jesus not come and teach us love? That despite the cruel world we live in, we are to be respectful loving people? It is hard yes, and we will all fail, but why do we have fight useless fights that only separate others further from god?
God is love, and we need to strive to be better, not because we have to be better but because we have been given a beautiful gift, a gift we should offer (NOT FORCE) it to others. If they wish not to heard, why make them? It is their choice. 

There is no spiritual gain, nor godly gain in blasting those with different views. God is just, and perfect while you are not. No matter how perfect you believe you are you still sin, so what makes you good enough to have the right to judge everyone else? You don't.

I just don't like him because he's cockier than
Hawking, and less intelligent

To the (Christian disliking) Scientists

My statements will be shorter to you, but that does not make you any less at fault. One thing scientists seem to fail to understand is that what you believe is not set-in-stone. Yes, many of the theories ad laws are mostly likely correct, considering they can accurately depict the actions of an object in a set field of requirements, but they do not always prove to be perfect.

The more advanced we get the more we learn, but as we learn the ideas and beliefs we had tend to evolve, or even completely fall apart. On top of that the more we learn, the less we realize we know. You are not perfect, just because your theory has a few points to it doesn't make it correct, so stop saying everyone else is wrong because yours is absolutely right. In order for it to be absolutely right, without any doubt you would need a non-compromised observation, which sadly the human mind itself is compromised and is known to alter things, thus how can you say anything you know is certain?

I am not just saying your deputing of a god, but the way you treat other theories. You act as if yours alone is the only way, which is not how real scientist should think. Their minds should be open to anything, seeing as how the universe is infinity complex and ever changing to think you alone are right is foolish. 

So to put it more clearly: Scientist need to open their minds, not just to the possible existence of a god, but to so many theories that get pushed back because they don't believe it fits the standard model, only to find twenty years later it was exactly what they needed. You are holding the human race back, keeping them at a walk when they could be running. Open your mind, there is so much to see and so much that we don't know.

My Thoughts

I am pursuing Astrophysics in college and I also am a devout christian. This to some would seem like a paradox, but for me it just makes sense.

I believe what the bibles says, I believe that god created the universe I believe Jesus died for me, and I believe that there is a heaven and a hell. I also believe the bible is meant to guide me spiritually, as well as make me into the person I am supposed to be.
But I also believe the world is billions of years old. I believe gravity exists (as I hope everyone else does...), I agree with most if not all of the current physics models, because to me it makes sense. The universe has laws and regulations to keep it going, I can deny it all I want but logic and observable experiments prove that it functions in certain ways.

To me the universe is beautiful, and studying and learning about the physics and astronomy is not a test against my faith, but rather builds my faith. The vast complexity, and beauty only makes me respect, and love my god even more. For me worship is looking at his work and seeing the creativity and wonders he has made. It is truly amazing.

Why can't I believe that a creator set in motion the world around me? We know not what started the Universe, so why can't I believe it was god? I do and it is just as valid as believing the universe started with particles that were just there.

I pursue the knowledge of how the universe works to better see the beauty of my creator, that is how I can reconcile the two, because they don't need to fight. It is people that make the two clash.

If you see a typo or something that doesn't make sense, I had a migraine while writing this so just ask if you're confused. I am a logical person, so if that is in question, please comment.