The date was August 13, 2013. The air was cool yet durable. A slight dew covered the grass around the local train station in Blandville, Idaho. Patrons were lined by the dozens near the local station, awaiting the arrival of the next train. It was an already considered a special since it is one of only 250 towns to still use trains as a large source of personal transport (with the encroachment of subways and the dramatic rise of vehicles in the late 20th century many train stations had closed down).
The people sat silently as the ground began to shake and a faint whistle could be heard. The Train had just peered over the horizon when the folks of Blandville realized a Cat by the name of Fellow, was running down the tracks (in the opposite direction from the train).
Fellow was a local hero of the town, after getting lost 3 years in the wilderness, but returning to his loving owners surprisingly unscathed. The news stayed mostly local, but she became an icon for the town in a very short time.She was a calico cat, and piercing green eyes. Fellow unlike most cats was a very vocal cat, capable of releasing a loud meow when choosing to.
Fellow, the Cat |
A meow was exactly what alerted the men and women near the station of Fellow's location along the tracks. Instantaneously a group rushed towards Fellow to remove him from the track as the train was now becoming incredibly close.
What happened next was surprising. The people cried out to Fellow, catching his attention. The cat stopped, and looked at the people she had come to know and love. They were still a distance from him, but it was clear the cat recognized them. One pointed behind him, shouting to Fellow about the oncoming train. To the people's surprise Fellow looked back, as if she had fully understood what was happening.
Many of the witnesses were quoted as saying "It really seemed like Fellow understood English far better than we had realized."
As the people approached, so did the train. With one amazing push of strength, Fellow Relieved himself of his bowels before the train turned him into a sheet of animal paper. So what happened? Fellow passed away.
What did you think was going to happen? It's a cat on a railroad track. (These events are not representative of any know actually event, any similarity is entirely coincidental). So the moral of the story?
-Stop clicking on articles with titles like these. It's a trap and you're only encouraging the media to pull you in and make you read countless amounts of useless information for about an ounce of knowledge.
You keep feeding the machine, and you know what will happen? This:
Man Walks Into a Bar, You'll Never Believe What Happened Next...
Cue Useless Fluff, and pictures to antagonize your emotions...
More Useless words
I once saw a moose assault a llama, not really but it was weird because I saw a tree that I thought was a bear so I went to give it a hug and it turned into a water buffalo. I don't know what that is but I'm sure google can tell me all about the Alpaca shortage in Antarctica. Oh right you came here to read something that had to do with the title...
He received a concussion, and lost 4 years worth of memories.
Though I understand the want to grapple viewers in with titles that give no information away, but now I'm seeing it in more important news. You can't continuously hook people and drag them in, nor fall for the bait. Journalism is already a dying practice (true journalism i.e. unbiased writers), I don't want to lose helpful news titles either. And don't you worry I'll have a serious post eventually