Life is always a journey. It's a meandering path taking us from one segment to the next, sometimes abruptly.
Before the start of this semester I felt hopefully, the last one had not been perfect, but it was a significant improvement from previous years. On top of that I found a new best friend who is entirely similar and yet entirely different. I became a leader, and began to feel as if my life had a purpose again. I was able to spend my time with my new found best friend(s), and my best friends of old. Both being excellent times.
The semester started and for the first three weeks things were going great. My grades were high, the homework was easy. But that was the end of it. My grades began to slip, and personal situations arose like grass in spring. And not problems like a regular drama, I mean real legitimate problems.
That's when it hit, the depression reared it's ugly head. I was taught as a child that falling to depression was weakness. In fact during my childhood years when I slipped into depression my parents would tell me "toughen up" or things of the sort. Well luckily I don't have to worry about that anymore. After they got divorced (officially last month) they started worrying more about bad mouthing each other, than caring about their children, so I have that going for me.
But here I am trying to be happy. It's spring break, so I'm going to try to do things to improve my livelihood, but we'll see. Tomorrow I schedule a morning hike up a mountain so I'm looking forward to it. But I can't shake this crippling depression. I am failing everything I thought I was supposed to excel at, and on top of that certain situation have arose that have put me above any stress I have felt in my life.
So basically this was a status check, and unfortunately I have fallen into another bout of depression. Hopefully I can dig out soon. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life if I fail this semester.
This is more for me than you.
Though if you're suffering from depression know you're not alone.
