Two Paths Ahead, An Unbound Mind

For all of my life I have had a vision and a goal for my life. It has been dead set and unwavering, even in the changes it always remained steadfast, adamant. It was unbreakable to my perception, but now as I look at my life and re-evaluate the circumstance in which I stand, I find a compete redress, a reboot of galactic proportions, in the way my mind has functioned. For all of my life, I have worked to become a scientist, for like Mendicant Bias, I am a beggar of knowledge. I must know why and how, it is ingrained in the fiber of my being. The more I know the more I crave, to the point of insanity. I do not ever sleep, my mind is always racing  and always thinking. Even my dreams fraught with the complexity of knowing, of thinking.
But unlike many, as my knowledge grows, my absolute awe of the universe becomes exponentially higher. It becomes even more infinitely beautiful.

I have a scientific mind, that is how I function, hence the interest for science. My current projection in life places me in the realm of Astrophysics. I love astronomy, it gives me peace in a tumultuous world. The skies above give me hope of one day spreading across the stars, of journeys and adventures like no other. Of beautiful sights that would bring an artist to their knees in tears. Worlds are waiting for us to find them, and I desperate want to assist in such advancements. So much joy us derived from Astronomy, but as I continue forward the path has become blurred.

Per Audacia Ad Astra

I thought astronomy was the only path for me, for I felt no compelling force into any other interest or field. But as I mature, and take a look at the life I have lived, the capabilities I have, and the future that I seek, another path has entered my vision; I would love to become a story writer for video games.

This all goes back to second grade. That is when my origins for writing began. Even then I overachieved (my spelling lacked, as it does now, but thanks to this wonderful twenty first century spell checker solves almost all those problems, and almost everyone rules of comas are different, therefore my commatic splicing is of my own style). I would write far more than I had to, for it just came naturally to me. Though this post is written in far less complexity than of the normal level in which I write, I feel that the point is still making it's way into your mind.

As I grew, and I acquired more writing skills, I began to write stories on my own, typically of futuristic war scenarios  thanks to Halo. But I made them my own. I made twists and turns that were of my own creation. And unlike most stories of today, mine always ended in a dark manner, for I believe a good story must be full of emotion. It must connect characters with players, and keep them engaged. A good story must make the player care about the world around the character. They must become the character. That is why I have adopted the (unconventional) method of limited characteristic description, so that the character can be imagined to be whatever the reader wishes. The story should not be predictable, it should have twist and turns, and sudden occurrences. The reader/player should be outraged, happy, sad, and interested. A story should be a work of art, a testament to the time. It should create believable worlds that people will want to fully immerse themselves. The characters should be real, and face issues that maybe be beyond the times of now, but have a level of connection to the audience. A story is beautiful and captivating. It is a burning in the mind, that compels one to write down the worlds that reside in their head, not for profit. A story should be written to give those hope, and excitement when they have none.

 My passion for writing has always been adamant, but never before did the thought cross my mind to think of a career for it. And thinking about it, just sitting down and properly thinking about it, I would love to become a video game writer, then I could focus on something I love that comes natural to me. That does not me I have to stop Astrophysics. I can learn on my own, and still be the person I want to be, but it can be done in a time-table realistic to my schedule of learning.

I am honestly torn. I do not know the path that I wish to take. I hope to find my footing, for the future has grown blurred as the past becomes ever fleeting. I seek the answer to my future, but instead I find questions. I hope the decision comes swiftly, and is the right one.

I grow weary of so many thinking that I will succeed so well in college. I also do not look forward to the looks cast my way, if the decision to go into writing is made. People who view me as this incredibly intelligent person: I am no genius the expectations put upon me weigh me down, I can't live to the high standards that I am held to (though I'm flattered you all think I am that smart).

I write for the same reason I do photography. I see the world as a beautiful thing, so I must capture it and share it. In the same respective the universes inside my head are beautiful to me, they are filled with so much, and all I wish is to put them on paper. I must decide sooner than later.