THE HAPPENING

I LOVE YOU GERMANY
You think your world is safe? It is not. If only I had Benedict Cumberbatchs voice to say such a line. But I don't so whatever.

While all of you sit on your thrones of privilege given to you by your genetic lineage realize that in your strength only weakness is found. Your systems are coddled, and will fall the the zombie plague. What am I speaking of? Well in the good old north spring is rearing its beautiful head, but it's also a really ugly one. Dead puppy ugly. * distasteful joke* Do I care? Nope. My puppy is a happy alive puppy, and I call him a dog because puppy is too... informal.

I love the turn from the nasty brown and grey days to the green and bright days. Why? I don't like brown all that much. It reminds me of dirt, and I don't like the way dirt tastes, nor clay. Something I learned all too well as a child. Who hasn't tried it once? It's probably healthier than snails.

But now back to you know.. what I started talking about, you and your superior genes.
Am I such a prude that plant reproduction literally makes me sick? Apparently, it's just in my nature so I can not be judged. So take that all you "lighten up" people. I will not stoop to your standards. Especially not to the plants level eww.

Allergies everything is about allergies. Spring has sprung, and it had come in like a lion riding a horse with a lance strapped to its nuclear tipped claws. I was walking in a market looking at food when I decided to make people try to sing the trees, one called grandfather, to sleep. Well instead I met the full furry as the allergies attacked me with full vengeance.



You know how inconsistent this post is? Very, probably the worst one yet. Anyway. So after attempting to flee the evil monster of pollen and failing I realized what this reminded me of. THE HAPPENING. You know where the trees rise up and kill everyone with their Poison  That is what I think is happening, slowly but surly the trees are poisoning us against their reproduction so that soon they will literally grow in our deaths.





But unlike the happening it is progressing at a much faster rate, think The Day After Tomorrow Fast. Like it is physically impossible to pull up that much water in a "hurricane" over land unless you evaporated all of the lakes and threw it together in a party of fun, fast. That fast. Whew.

It's to the point where if you try to run away, you will inevitably be hunted down by the tree assassins and killed. Moral of the story? I hate allergies and they are very prevalent.

 I mean it's not like you can just throw water on a tree to try to contain pollen. Even acid rain is doing nothing to combat such outbreaks, these trees are no incredibly stupid miscalculating aliens, the trees know water is bad so they protect themselves.

NOPE TREES ARE EVERYWHERE AND THEY ARE WAITING.


You Just wasted your time on this one.