Crimson, Eleven, Delight, Petrichor

I can't help the title it's been stuck in my head for the past two weeks.

So where to start? Nothing exciting has happened to me in the past few weeks, I think. I really can't remember at this point.

Is it weird having a life goal to be struck by lightning, and survive? I've been talking to people and I guess that's not normal. I thought everyone wanted that. I don't want to get damaged or anything, I just want my superpowers. Because I'm still convinced that lightning does give you super powers. But there are rules to the acquiring of such powers. Rule number one: The Doctor lies. Oops, my bad. No.

The Lightning Super-Powers Rules

1. When getting struck by lightning, one must not be attempting to get struck otherwise the 4.2% chance of acquiring super-powers will be null, and void.

2. If you are holding tea, your chances go from 4.2% to 42%, since you know it's the answer to life the universe and everything. Do I have my towel? Oh good.

3. When their is a dolphin present, all powers will be transferred into it, for they have made a complex machine to do so. Do not get struck near a dolphin. It will transform into a land dolphin, and hunt humans for the rest of its life on their home turf, the cities.

4. Don't attempt.

Sucks to be him. See what the land dolphins did?

5. Most importantly, Don't be this guy:



Now Here are 5 piece of advice for life:

1. When you inevitably find yourself in a forest where the only life to be found is the carnivorous plants, do not fret, use the vine of wisdom, it gets them every time.


2. When fighting a unicorn, do not attack from the front, but attack from above. Fall on it's head, it's going to kill you anyways so landing on it's unibrown of a horn will cause you do die on it's face. It won't be able to see and will fall into the trap of peanuts.

3. When struggling to get your breath in a life and death battle with a Hippo, remember you are the one that kept force feeding it in Hungry Hippos the game. They never forget that.

4. When encountering a monkey, it may attempt to steal your wallet. Put a llama in your pocket, so that it steals the llama instead. It will be like a leprechaun, and give you gold. True story.

5. Rabies is like love.

6. Don't over count it messes you up in Language class. Oh and don't make up words in other languages they turn out to be swear words. Oh was my middle school teacher startled all those years ago.


Why can't I have a TARDIS? All I want to do is travel around the universe in my blue box saving people. How could it be any better than that? Would you come with me?