Though my deprivation of sleep and the battles presented to me I find the new me begin to form. Some humans in times of extreme pain, or confusion change themselves, they adapt. That is how they continue on, how they strive. But to what cost? Yes they can then continue on in a less disturbed state of being due to their metamorphosis, but what strains does it have? On the surface it had none, for they have suppressed it for that purpose. But within they can feel the monster rip and tear attempting to escape. The question is, will they let it? Sometimes the evil is able to break free, sometimes it is held strong in its cage. It all depends upon the strength of the person. But after time the cage seems to weaken, and the beast within, the enemy that is within our own selves seems almost to triple in strength. It is at these times of flux that one should be most careful. To release it now would be far worse than just coasting through the pain.
But what will happen? Will it escape, or will it be stopped. My beast is knocking at the door, and has shaken me to my very core. I hope that it does to bloom, but only time will tell, a time that should be carefully watched. Will I change? We shall see. I promised myself I would not, and I intend to keep that. But when you soon come to such conclusions about your own situation, it is an interesting game of cat and mouse.
Time will tell, and it is ticking.
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